a year later.

A few days ago, I was carrying Ann Bennett down the dark hallway and glanced at the white balloon we used for her one year pictures illuminated in the kitchen light . A year of sweet memories flashed before me. In that instant I felt her nestled on my chest in the NICU drifting off to the metronome-like beep of the cardiorespiratory monitor. I relived the emotions and the empty feeling in my heart the first night that she slept in her crib and the morning that I stopped nursing. I saw the look on her face when she first tasted rice cereal, felt the joy in my heart when she first said "mama" and re-lived the moment when she realized that there is a world that cannot be seen or touched perched on my hip…

And with a punch to my gut, I said to myself, "wow." Here we are, a year later. My precious Ann Bennett, our precious gift, is one. 

Thank you, Lord for this vivacious, strong-willed baby girl. In the words of Jess Connolly in a "Throwback Thursday" on her Instagram feed, "This throwback Thursday is dedicated to you mamas of tenacious daughters. To the ones who knew, even when they were toddlers, that their daughters were a force to be reckoned with. Yeah Lord, bring on the wild and bold and reckless daughters. And give us patience to love them. And help us to fan their flames without breaking their spirits." 

Heaven, help me. 

Happy First Birthday, Annie B.