TP.

This week was, what I like to call, TP—tearful and prayerful. I was pushed and I was tested and as I laid in bed last night I was feeling very broken. John was out of town for four days, Ann Bennett regressed in her potty training (if you can even call it that—she is trained!), and Camp was sick, running a fever for five days straight…with life thrown on top of that. As hard as weeks like this are, they always show me my need for our Savior and for that I am thankful. It's when I'm empty, that I am able to be filled with His grace and love, restored and redeemed. I honestly learned a lot about where my heart was these past few days. And I am ashamed to admit it wasn't pretty. Today, I start year 33, and I am grateful to be starting it with a fresh perspective and a healed heart. God, let's do this. || And to the three little loves who left me undone this week, you're always worth it. This life with you and your daddy is everything I could have ever dreamed of and more.

sunday best.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Romans 5: 1-11

temporary home.

I am grateful for a lot of things right now, one of them being a rent-free roof over my head. I am so thankful for the many ways that my in-laws have provided for me and John over the past 4 weeks, but I have never yearned for the feeling of home as much as I do right now. I long for John to feel like my husband again and not just my roommate. I long for a different routine. I long to not feel like an intruder. I long to touch, feel, and use our "things" that are tucked away in storage. Our home is currently in a unit down the street.

I have drawn incredibly close to the Lord during this time of transition in my life. I have been constantly reminded, during intimate time spent in His presence when my heart wells up with these longings, that earth, not just my in-laws' house, is my temporary home and that these "things" that my heart values and yearns for are of the world...not of the Spirit. I am reminded that joy does not come from what I deem "comfortable" or desirable, but is a result of a devoted relationship with God and discovering His power, sovereignty, and plan amidst the most difficult circumstances life throws at me.

I am so thankful for God's grace because I tend to struggle with these feelings daily. I'm thankful for His mercy because time and time again, He forgives my flesh and reminds me of His promises and the truth of and hope in His Word.

As cliché as it sounds: "home is where the heart is." If His home is in my heart, my home is in Him.

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (NLT) Ephesians 3:17-19

my motto.

My motto lately: LET GO AND LET GOD.

Don't worry. Don't be anxious. Surrender. Relax. Breathe. Say YES to God. Be covered in Peace. Rejoice.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42