she's here.

It's about time I documented little bit's birth day, no?

On Saturday morning (the 16th), I got a text message from my induction massage therapist checking in and asking me if my labor had progressed. Unfortunately it hadn't, other than a few contractions here and there, so she asked if I could come see her on Sunday afternoon for a "30 minute booster" to give natural labor one last shot before my scheduled induction on Monday morning. At this point, I was desperate so I eagerly agreed. Little did I know that I would be texting her at 2:46 a.m. (sorry, Adrian!) letting her know that I was in labor and wouldn't be needing that booster after all. 

To take advantage of the beautiful weather, John, Brooks, and I headed downtown to the Pepper Place Market. We waded through the crowds and came home with coffee beans, a mason jar filled with beautiful wildflowers, and juicy peaches. Afterwards, we went to lunch at our weekend favorite, Saw's BBQ. Later that afternoon, after Brooks' nap, we went on a long family walk to one of John's projects on Melrose and back home. An hour later, the contractions started...

...and they got closer together...and more uncomfortable as the sun set on our wonderful and final day as a family of three.

Worried that it could be false labor, I called the doctor when my contractions were ranging from 3-5 minutes apart and she prompted me to come in.

At 10:15 p.m. John loaded up the car, we prayed, and pulled out of the driveway hand-in-hand. Once we got to the hospital, we ventured to the third floor where we met our nurse, Caitlin. She led us to our room, 3004. I put on my gown, got hooked up to the monitor, and was told that I was at 5 centimeters dilated. Caitlin left at 11:00 p.m. and I turned on the T.V. We settled on Serendipity and attempted to get some shut eye. At 11:25 our nurse came back in to insert the IV and give me my wristbands. 20 minutes later, Dr. Gregory (the on-call doctor) came in to check me again, and I was still at 5 centimeters and the baby's head was between 0 and -1 station. My contractions were somewhat painful at this point, but slowing down a bit to 5-7 minutes apart. The doctor urged me to get some sleep, even though we both knew that wasn't going to happen. John slept off and on throughout the night and I finally dozed off around 4:00 a.m. and woke up at 6:00 a.m. 

At 7:00 a.m. Dr. Gregory and my new nurse, Apryl, came in to check me and I was about 6 centimeters dilated. Because I had not progressed much, I decided to have my water broken at 7:04 a.m. At 9:19 a.m. they started me on the lowest dosage of Pitocin to see if it could speed things up a bit, and that it did. I wanted to wait until 10:00 for the epidural, but the pain quickly increased so Dr. Barrow arrived at 9:52 to help a sister out. My right leg went numb, but I was still feeling pain. I laid on my left side to try to get the medicine to distribute evenly and finally felt relief. 

At 10:52 a.m., Apryl decided to check me before she stepped out for a bit and to everyone's surprise I was "ready." Wait, you mean to tell me that I just jumped from 6 to 10 centimeters in an hour?! John and I were shocked! It was GO-TIME. With excitement we took a few deep breaths (and pictures). We were minutes away from meeting our precious baby and finding out if he or she was a boy or a girl…the excitement!

Apryl came back in after prepping things for delivery and said that it was time to start pushing. At 11:11 a.m. she grabbed hold of my right leg, John lifted my left, we waited on a contraction, and I pushed. And then I saw the astonished look on John's face. "It has a lot of black hair!" I couldn't believe that I was already crowning! Dr. Gregory was paged and arrived minutes later. After every one in the room made predictions if we were having a boy or a girl (every one said boy) I pushed one last time and at 11:19 she was here. Our baby girl was here. We asked Dr. Gregory if John could cut the umbilical cord and if he could be the one to announce if it was a boy or a girl. Because he was concentrating on his big task and curiosity was killing me, I peeked between my legs when I heard his or her cry. In unison John and I both got a look at her privates. I immediately started crying as we both tried to grasp the reality that we were the proud parents of a baby girl.

One of my biggest fears was that I wasn't going to be able to love this baby as much as I love Brooks. I couldn't fathom my heart growing any bigger, but it did. With that first breath, it did. Time stood still as I held Ann Bennett in my arms for the first time. My heart literally ached. It throbbed with fullness of gratitude, love, excitement, and joy; the way every mother's heart bursts when she first lays eyes on her children. A throbbing that can only be gifted by our Heavenly Father. Life. 

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." John 16:21

On December 13, 2012 our lives were forever changed. On August 17, 2014, our lives became richer and our hearts doubled in size. You are a blessing, Ann Bennett, and perfect in every way. Happy Birth Day, baby girl.

birth day.

My brain is already turning into mush from the lack of sleep and energy that comes with caring for a newborn.

Wow, what an adjustment.

Our little bit is now 17 days old (my, how time flies) so I better pen the details of December 13, 2012, the most beautiful and magical day of my life, before they are long forgotten...and before Brooks wakes up.

The night of December the 12th, I set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. However, no wake-up-call was needed. I awoke bright and early on the 13th, 2:45 to be exact, with a mind racing with both excitement and fear and a heart beating with eagerness to meet our baby boy. To see his face. To explore every detail of his entire being that I had been dreaming about since the day that I found out that I was pregnant.

I wanted John to get as much sleep as possible so I tip-toed out of the bedroom and did what I do best: clean. At 4:15 I decided that it was time to shower and start getting ready for the big day ahead of us. John was soon to follow. By 5:30, our hospital bags were loaded up in the trunk and the car seat was locked in place. It was time to make our way to the hospital. Backing out of the driveway, a wave of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. With tears welling up in my eyes, I looked over at John, grabbed my belly, and said, "Well, this is the last time we will be pulling out of the driveway as a family of 2." With a smile, he reached over, grasped my hand so tight and held it, which immediately cast aside all fears and anxieties. Gazing out the window into the dark, my heart felt peace.

Upon arrival at the hospital we headed up to labor and delivery on the 3rd floor. We were unsure of whether or not I would be admitted immediately because I was technically on a "waiting list," so when the nurse told me to head through the double doors where I would be greeted by my nurse-in-training, Jamie, I was overwhelmed by the same feelings of fear and excitement again. This was it. There was no turning back now.


At 6:15 we entered Room 3009, the delivery room where we would meet our baby boy and he would greet the world. I changed into my hospital gown and took a look around the room. I wanted to remember it all. The clock above the door, the halfway drawn curtain, the empty bassinet. I crawled into the bed, hospital gown wide open in the back, and stared out the wall of windows. It was calm and the sun was rising. What a picturesque morning. Thank you, Lord, for your beautiful handiwork and for reminding me of your Presence. I want this day to be centered around you. Give me strength, emotionally and physically. Be with me, be with John, and be with Brooks as he transitions into this world. 

At 6:40, I met my other sweet nurse, Katie. She stood over Jamie as she drew some blood and inserted my IV.  Dr. Stradtman arrived shortly thereafter and examined me—at this point I was only 3 centimeters dilated. At 7:30, she broke my water. Whoa. She wasn't kidding when she told me that I had a lot of amniotic fluid. A lot was an understatement. Within minutes I started progressing. At 7:36 the nurses started me on Pitocin and at 7:39, my contractions began. They first started me at a "6", which was too much. My contractions were immediately very painful and getting stronger and stronger. They decided to lower the Pitocin drip to a level 4, but I was still contracting every 2 minutes—sometimes straight through (as soon as one would end, I would begin another...OUCH)—so they brought it down again to a level 2. Two hours later, my contractions were so intense that I wanted to know my pain relief options...epidural being the last. RN Katie called and spoke with Dr. Stradtman, who advised against inserting pain medication into my IV because it would slow down my progress and make baby tired, which meant longer labor. Epidural it was.

At 10:25 the anesthesiologist arrived and John was asked to leave and come back in 20 minutes. When he walked back through the door I was a different woman! Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, if you will. The contractions had dissipated and I was all smiles. I did have a slight burning and aching in my right leg, but it was better than the pain that I felt 30 minutes ago. At 11:18 they put my catheter in and decided to check me again to see if I was making any progress. To my surprise I was 6, almost 7 centimeters dilated! The nurses rolled me over to my side around 11:30 and I attempted to get a little shut eye. However, I started to feel a lot of pressure and back pain. My nurse, Katie decided to check me again and boom—9 1/2 centimeters at 12:00!

By 12:35 it was GO-TIME! I started pushing, but mid-way in the nurses asked me to stop so they could get the room ready for Brooks' arrival. 20 minutes later (yes, 20 minutes of having the urge to push, but not being able to), I was given the thumbs up to begin pushing again. At this point, I could mildly feel my contractions coming and going so I knew when it was time to push and would gear up by grabbing under each thigh and pulling my chin to my chest. Unfortunately for John, my right leg was completely numb so he had to "man" that side of my body. I started crowning before Dr. Stradtman arrived so again, the nurses asked me to stop pushing until she got there. It was so hard not to push. I was practically clenching, trying to keep him from coming out! Within seconds, Dr. Stradtman arrived and at 1:44 p.m. with encouragement from John and one final push, so did Brooks. At that moment, I had an outer-body experience. It was the most emotional and joyous moment in my life, a moment where he was the only thing in this world that existed. My heart exploded.

Nothing can prepare you for the first time you lay eyes on your child. Everything about that moment moved me. I wish that I could bottle it all up—the emotions, the commotion, the tears of pure joy, the sounds, the love, the look on John's face, the feeling of Brooks being placed in my arms—and keep it with me always and always.

He was beautiful, perfect, and healthy; everything that I could hope for or imagine. Praise God.

On December 13, 2012, our lives were forever changed...

...and we continue to fall more and more in love with our son every day. It's possible, trust me.