Deep breath.
There are moments when I get overwhelmed by feelings of failure. I compare myself to others who go into labor on their own and wonder why my body isn't capable? I feel frustrated because I clean the house, do the laundry and stock the fridge hoping that "today is the day!", only having to repeat and repeat again...and again. As each day passes and my scheduled induction draws near, it's with tears in my eyes and broken dreams of going into labor on my own, that I remind myself that God is in control, that his timing is ever so perfect, and that this baby's birthday is already written in His book. And I find rest and peace in knowing that. That is, until I see the surprised look of the employees at the grocery store, wondering why I'm still pregnant or get asked by a stranger when I'm due and get a not so encouraging response when I tell them that my due date came and went. Needless to say, this past week has been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster and I'm trying to keep my head up, clinging to God's promises and sovereignty.
At my appointment on Monday afternoon, I had not progressed any since my last visit a week prior. I was still 3 centimeters dilated, head at -2 station. I had an ultrasound and everything looked great, other than the high amount of amniotic fluid (no real cause for concern). I also had a non stress test that showed that baby's heart rate was normal and that I was having contractions about 12 minutes apart.
Dr. Stradtman took a look at her schedule and set my induction for the 18th at 6:00 am. So, if baby is a no-show, which I'm thinking may be the case seeing that walking, eggplant and spicy food, two trips to the chiropractor and an induction massage with acupressure couldn't get things moving, then we will be holding our fashionably late babe in our arms on Monday!
Gosh - you are so cute pregnant!
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