final weeks.

It's hard to believe we are only 4 weeks (and some change) away from meeting our little babe. I want to say that this pregnancy has flown by, but it really hasn't. Maybe it's because I have been trying to savor each day I am privileged to carry this sweet life—every last drop of it—since it will most likely be my last. 

We are, for the most part, ready to welcome this baby. The car seat isn't installed, my bags aren't packed, and the nursery isn't complete, but clothes have been washed and put away, diapers have been purchased, and all baby gear is pieced and put together. Now, it's just a waiting game. 

At my 34 week appointment, my doctor checked me since I have been having regular contractions, lightening, and some serious cervical pain. I was 1.5 centimeters dilated, 50% effaced. Does this mean much to me? Not really, since I was dilated 3 centimeters with Ann Bennett for a month. Yet, I made it to 40 weeks, 5 days. However, I have a slight instinct that I am not going to make it to my due date this go around. Only God knows! 

I have been asked quite a lot lately what the gender is. When I tell strangers that we don't know, they all assume girl by the way I'm carrying. My gut instinct says boy, but I did have my first baby dream a few nights ago and we were delighted by a sweet blonde hair, green-eyed baby girl. 

Some things that I want to remember about this pregnancy: 

My biggest cravings have been blackberries and peanut butter anything. Odd, seeing that I don't typically like (or eat) peanut butter. 

I have gained a whopping 40 pounds, and while I can see it everywhere, the weight gain is mainly in my hips, rear, and thighs. 

For some reason, I cannot stay off of my back while sleeping, so I am waking many times throughout the night to get in a more comfortable position for me and baby. I also wake every night around 2:00 a.m. to use the restroom. 

This baby is my most active, to date. Always moving, always poking, always kicking. I am going to miss this the most…

I had John snap a few pictures of me and the kids for memory's sake. 95% of them were out of focus, but I will still cherish them always, as they remind me that there is so much beauty in the imperfect. And that this life, that motherhood, is messy and blurred, but full of love, light, joy, and hope. 

My precious child, you are so adored and loved already. You are the missing piece to our puzzle. We cannot wait to meet you, to hold you, to shower you with hugs, kisses, and love. You are such a gift—more precious than jewels. We will see you soon!